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October 9th, 2015 by

South Africa  1. If You Despise Countries With Colourful Histories


Cape Town, known as the Mother City, because it was the first city colonized along the South African coast. This place draws thousands of visitors from around the world because of its unique tranquil setting.

Don’t come to South Africa! Too much history and awesome things to do.

2. If Rhinos Ain’t Your Thing


The Hluhluwe and Imfolozi National Parks see you facing white and black rhino populations that are slaughtered everywhere.

Who wants to see an almost extinct animal?

3 If You Hate River Cruises With Hippos


Booking a heritage cruise with Heritage Tours and Safaris and taking a look at the hippos may not be for you.

4. If Kayaking With Crocodiles Sounds Disastrous



For the adventurous only – go for a kayak with 1200 crocodiles, separated only by fibreglass.

Too dangerous. Stay home.

5. If Horse Safaris Disgust You



Let the horse lead the way as you sit atop and watch the giraffes and wildebeest run beside you at iSimangaliso Wetlands.

6. If You Find Turtles Laying Eggs Torturous



Visit St Lucia and see the Leatherback and Loggerhead turtles lay their eggs.

Amazing things are gross!

7. If You Hate Swinging From Stadiums


Find yourself in Durban? Don’t go swinging from the only stadium in the world that allows it- Moses Mabhida Stadium.

What nonsense!

8. If You Feel Ziplining Is For Losers


You should never zipline through the Tsitsikama resort near the garden route. It’s only for thrill seekers.

Let’s stay home and watch the Kardashians.

9. If You Never Want To See The Cango Caves


Caves? These have massive chambers that the whole wants to see. Why go?

Caves are so last year!

10. If Riding An Ostrich Is Crazy To You


This is only for losers who love trying new things and who love adventure- visit the Cango Ostrich farm.

Who rides ostriches?! Who?