6 Marriage Tips From Divorce Lawyers
Who better to take marriage advice from than divorce lawyers. You heard right, divorce lawyers weigh in on what marriage takes to work.
Published: Wednesday, January 18th 2017
You know how they say advice can come from the most unlikely of places? What about tips on how to make your marriage work from a divorce lawyer?
Maybe you think the only marriage advice you should take is from someone with an office, a chaise lounge, and their name on the door. But, have you ever stopped to think that, perhaps, divorce lawyers may hold the secret to what it takes to make a marriage work?
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Here Are 6 Profound Marriage Tips From Divorce Lawyers
1. First Off, It's Not About Love, It's About Tolerance
A sustainable marriage is not so much about how much you love your partner, its more about how you tolerate things you don't overly enjoy. Does your partner have quirks?
Melissa B. Buchman, a California-based attorney, says you can't go into a marriage thinking their quirks will eventually disappear. If anything, their quirks may only multiply. If you can't tolerate your partners quirks now, there is no way a marriage will fix that.
2. Give Your Spouse The Benefit Of The Doubt
"Unfortunately, many couples I see going through a divorce ascribe bad or sometimes terrible motives to everything their spouses do. What is the harm in assuming or presuming the best? Even if you're wrong, it hurts no one. And, it may be the start of a better relationship." Randall M. Kessler, an attorney based in Atlanta, Georgia.
3. Don't Be Afraid To Feed Your Partner's Ego Every Now And Then
Christian Denmon, an attorney living in Florida, says your partner still wants to feel strong, sexy, and attractive.
"I have seen spouses cheat, because someone else showed them attention and made them feel good."
4. Your Spouse Comes First, Then Your Kids
Karen Covy, an attorney and divorce coach, says couples allow themselves to drift apart as our lives fill up with your work, your house, your activities, your kids - all before your spouse and your marriage.
"While many people believe that their kids have to come first, if they don’t put their spouse first, their marriage eventually sours. It's not going to be doing the kids any favours."
5. The Right Time To Work On Your Marriage Is NOW
Don't wait until its too late to work on your marriage.
Attorney, Carla Schiff Donnelly says, "Work on your marriage while it’s still a good marriage, don’t wait until there’s a problem. 'Work' does not have to mean counseling, it can simply be having a set date night once a month."
6. You Can't Change Your Spouse, Accept That
Lisa Helfend Meyer believes we all have a "deep-seated desire to change our partners", and she believes women especially.
This may take on many manifestations, including what your partner wears and what they do and don't do in your sex life.
"The bottom line is, we are who we are and either we accept it or go back on Match.com."
As the beloved Maya Angelou said, "When people show you who they are, believe them."